Author Archives: Graham

About Graham

I combine trauma awareness, emotional healing and comedy to heal painful events from your past, so you can live a future life you love; and have fun doing it.

I Put A Show In The Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next

I spent the week before my Difficult First Show at the 2017 Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival curled up in a foetal position on my couch. It was right in the middle of music college holidays and I had been putting off finalising and rehearsing the show until this crucial break when I had no college work to do.

When I first submitted my application to the festival back in May, I figured I had plenty of time to get my act together. Come mid-September with just a week to go, for some bizarre reason I figured taking it easy was the way to go.

I had eleven songs I’d written for the show, mostly about experiences at college this year, which made up about 35-40 minutes of material. All I had to do was spin 20 minutes of stories between them and I should be sweet. How hard can it … Continue reading…

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The #1 Reason To Stop Seeking Other People’s Approval

When we’re a child, we’re biologically wired to seek the approval of adults around us. Otherwise we would die. Humans are born with very poor individual survival instincts, so we are reliant on our parents and other caregivers to teach us how to avoid threats to our well-being.

We are born to instinctively trust our parents and to seek their love and approval, however misguided they may be. We learn pretty early on in life to do what we can to keep them happy. And while we also develop our own ideas about what we want quite young, often we get punished harshly when our desires conflict with those of our parents. Some parents withhold their love and approval when we disobey, which uses the power of our own instincts against us.

This is why you see so many parents giving their children behaviour-reinforcing proclamations like “good boy/girl!” or admonishments … Continue reading…

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Invitation to my Difficult First Show... This Weekend!

I'm doing my first full feature-length one-hour show at The Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival this weekend, and I'd love you to come and join in the fun!

Two shows only:

  • First Difficult First Show: Saturday September 30th 2017 at 5:45pm
  • Second Difficult First Show: Sunday 1st October 2017 at 4:45pm

Tickets are $15 for adults or $10 for students/concession.

I'll be mucking around and playing crowd-pleasing yet-to-be-hit original songs like:… Continue reading…

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Anger Denialism

The tendency among many modern people to deny their anger and pretend that they do not get upset when their needs aren't met, fuelled by the overwhelming fear of speaking the words: “I feel angry”.

Often the result of misguided cultural or spiritual teaching that portrays anger as a “negative” emotion that must be avoided, suppressed or denied at all costs.

Let It Out, Dude

Anger denialists are deeply afraid of both their own inner rage and the anger of others, leading them to shut down healthy expressions of anger in themselves and others, in order to avoid their own feelings of guilt, fear, shame or embarrassment.

Over the long term, this leads to a sense of frustration that finds outlet via passive-aggressive behaviour which alienates other people, leaving them even less likely to meet the anger denialist's needs; thus fuelling an ongoing cycle of thinly repressed rage.

The resulting … Continue reading…

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The Song To Play When You're Having A Bad Day

I was gifted the song Everything Is Fucked by the Divine Creator during a yin yoga class in North Bondi, Sydney, Australia at 6:37pm on 17th February 2017; while in Frog pose for seven agonising minutes.

At the time, I had been suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for nine years and after five months pushing myself through three excruciating yoga sessions a week, wasn't getting the results that I had hoped for. I had totally failed to pick-up at a yoga studio full of gorgeous young women, I was rapidly going broke because my Life Coaching business had failed to really take off (who wants a sick Life Coach?!?), both my elderly parents had been diagnosed with cancer, a sweet hot girl I met online and completely fell for had started going out with a musician who lived 12,000 km closer to her than me; and … Continue reading…

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How To Be Assertive With A Neanderthal

I was on my way to music class this morning and the peak hour train was a little more crowded than usual. As I headed downstairs to find a seat, I came across a couple of men occupying two opposite-facing three-person bench seats. I wasn't keen on standing for a half hour while two guys occupied six seats between them, so I politely said "Excuse me" to the guy on the aisle end of backward-facing seat, and he kindly moved over to the window to accommodate me.

Closely Related Primate, Also in Genital Display Pose

As I sat in the newly vacant aisle seat, I felt constrained by the man sitting in the middle of the bench seat opposite me. He was sitting forward with his legs spread wide in the classic genital display pose that male primates evolved to demonstrate dominance to other lesser primates. So wide in fact … Continue reading…

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What To Do When Social And Traditional Media Mocks You

I was on the way home from college last week feeling very tired and irritable as I lugged my acoustic guitar, case & backpack from train to bus after an intense day of musical collaboration. As my mind drifted through the things that have irritated me recently, I remembered a recent experience on the morning bus. In a misguided attempt to get it off my chest I posted the following message about it on the Bondi Local Loop Facebook group, which at the time had over 42,000 local members:

To the lady who abused me on the packed 389 from North Bondi the other morning as she alighted at Bondi Junction by shouting: "I hope your bag enjoyed the seat, you fucking prick": I would have preferred you to ask me politely to please move over during the trip if you wanted the seat. That would have given me Continue reading…

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The Real Reasons Your Friends Want You To Do The Landmark Forum

It's been over 20 years since I did The Landmark Forum and life since then has been a constant series of breakthroughs and breakdowns. But there's been one persistent irritation over that time: other people.

I consistently find myself in challenging situations with other people thinking: "This asshole would be a lot easier to deal with if they did The Landmark Forum".

I even had a friend once who made me wrong for using the phrase "made me wrong".

It's not a cult

I'm a little tired of being a circle adrift in a sea of triangles. I suspect that the whole world would be a better place if everyone did The Landmark Forum; especially the people who don't think they need to, because they tend to do the most damage.

Some of these people really need to be slapped around the head by a Landmark Forum leader.… Continue reading…

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How To Make Your Toshiba Laptop Run Like A TRS-80 Model I

I've been going completely crazy lately at the glacial speed of my Toshiba Satellite P50t laptop running Windows 10. My virus scanner kept reporting that the 10+ minutes that it took just to boot up was slower than 100% of computers like it, and hitting the “tune up” button wasn't helping.

They don't make 'em like this any more

For goodness sake, my TRS-80 Model I running NEWDOS/80 back in 1984 could boot faster. Not to mention all the waiting and spinning icons actually using the damn thing. It's 2017 for your-chosen-deity's sake, and a machine with a 2.8GHz processor should be just a bit speedier than that.

So after ruminating for ages on the decline of modern technology and how things “should” be, rather than how they actually are, I decided to suck it up and upgrade the hard drive in the laptop to a Solid State Drive (SSD) … Continue reading…

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Mother Induced Social Phobia

No wonder you feel anxious

No wonder you feel anxious

A widely prevalent and highly debilitating form of extreme social anxiety caused by being raised by a controlling or domineering mother.

Often accompanied by Nice Guy Syndrome. Male sufferers tend to exhibit passive or submissive behaviour, especially around women. Symptoms include self-consciousness, panic attacks, social anxiety, depression and a lack of direction in life. Inner conflict and mental confusion typically results from excessive critical admonishments during childhood such as: "You're just like your father!"; who while overly passive, was in fact quite a decent bloke.… Continue reading…

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