Spirituality

The Forgiveness Speech

Look, it's on my to-do list, OK!?!

Look, it’s on my to-do list, OK!?!

A form of unsolicited advice typically launched by anger denialists in response to me saying that I feel angry about something. Especially prominent when the anger is directed towards my mother in response to some form of destructive behaviour that she has indulged in for most of my life.

The launch of The Forgiveness Speech typically goes something like this:

Graham: “I feel angry when my mother criticises and belittles my father in front of me”

Denialist: “You need to learn to forgive”

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Spiritual Perfectionism

Are you perfect yet? Try harder!!!

Are you perfect yet? Try harder!!!

Spiritual Perfectionism: The tendency of some spiritual teachers, gurus, mentors and/or their followers to pretend that enlightened beings and/or those on the path to enlightenment, do not or should not ever experience unpleasant emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt and shame.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Stand Out At Kirtan

I went along to my local Kirtan the other night. Just in case you don’t know what Kirtan is, it’s kind of like an uber-relaxed Hindu version of church: Everyone sits around on the floor while a guy with a guitar leads us in a series of chants sung in a call-and-response style. I’ve been to a couple of different Kirtans before, associated with the various different [intlink id=”563″ type=”post”]cults I’ve been involved in[/intlink]; but this was my first time at this particular group.

Kirtan is a lot more fun than this.

Kirtan is a lot more fun than this.

Now before my family read this and conclude that I’m going to hell for becoming a Hindu, I should point out that the reason I go to Kirtan is because chanting in a group makes me feel good. That’s pretty much the idea behind the whole thing.

Most of the chants are sung in Sanskrit, which means I have absolutely no idea what I am singing about. The leader explains the meaning of one of them, which is basically singing praise to Krishna. And in case you don’t know who Krishna is, it’s kind of like the Hindu name for God, Yahweh, Jehova, Allah, Darwin, Dawkins… or whatever you choose to call your chosen supreme being.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Top 10 Reasons For Guys To Go To Yoga Class

I found myself in a yoga class by accident last weekend. You may wonder how this is even possible, but it happens to me more often than you might think. In fact, I find myself doing unexpected yoga so often that I keep a yoga mat permanently rolled up in my car precisely for such emergencies.

Not that I’m complaining or anything. Yoga is great for the body and an excellent way to quieten my restless mind. All that stretching is awesome for my flexibility, and the breathing practise helps calm my nervous system.

Yoga practise offers a myriad of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits. So as I looked around the room in between Warrior Two and Child pose, I couldn’t help but mentally assemble my Top 10 Reasons For Guys To Go To Yoga Class: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

12 Signs You’re Addicted To 12-Step Meetings

A lot of my friends tell me that they’re struggling with addictions of various sorts. Some of them describe themselves as “sex addicts”, and a surprising number of those are female. Of course, I never meet them until they’re already “in recovery”, do I?

Play 12-Step Roulette. Pick a group, and go!

Play 12-Step Roulette. Pick a group, and go!

Everyone else I meet seems to be either alcoholic or codependent. They don’t have time to hang out with me because they’re always too busy “going to a meeting”.

So just to prove that I’m not bitter or anything, here are 12 signs that you’re addicted to 12-Step meetings:
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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Look Spiritual, Even When You’re Not

Looking spiritual can be a bit of a problem if you’re an atheist. This can make it particularly hard to crack onto the cute girl with the aum tattoo on her shoulder. Simply pointing out that all that chakra stuff is bullshit generally doesn’t go down too well.

I hang around with a lot of new age spiritual types these days because they tend to be more empathic and less judgemental than your average person. Less discerning perhaps too, but I’m OK with that. I may not share their wacky belief systems but I still want to fit in.

So here’s how to look spiritual even when you’re not:

Go To Yoga

Put aside all the spiritual business for a moment: yoga is a great workout, the stretching is excellent for your body, and the guy/girl ratio is the most favourable you’re ever likely to come across. I keep a … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago