In a huge shock to legitimate movie fans worldwide, the epic blockbuster My Big Toe was completely snubbed by its peers as it failed to win a single Oscar at this year's 85th Motion Picture Academy Awards ceremony in Hollywood.
The epic saga, which depicts the heroic story of one man's quest to save the universe and gain enlightenment, had been expected to clean sweep the Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Cinematography, Best Director, Best Script, Best Music, and the coveted Best Anatomically Correct Feature film categories. The obligatory making-of documentary Inside My Big Toe: The Making of a Masterpiece had also been expected to pick up the Oscar for Best Documentary.
Editors of My Big Toe had already acknowledged that it was “rather unlikely” that the film would win Best Actress category after all scenes involving the leading lady ended up being cut in post-production. Officially it has been stated that this was due to a “contractual dispute” between her and the film's male star regarding the love scene which had been central to the original plot of the epic saga. However, sources close to the production team suggest that it may have been complicated due to romantic involvement between the two off-set which turned sour. Apparently, some feelings got hurt along the way. “That's the price you pay for being an artist”, said star Graham Stoney.
Fans of the film are said to be disillusioned and reeling from the news of the shock loss. For instance, raving fan Sarah Cohen was completely speechless and could give no comment for this article, primarily because we didn't even bother to contact her for one.
“Don't they know quality when they see it?”, said one movie fan outside the ceremony, “If they want to give awards to bullshit, I'll give them bullshit”, he continued while staining the red carpet with a pile of fresh manure.
It's understood that the production team behind My Big Toe are now in lock-down, deciding how to proceed with future productions in order to ensure such a devastating loss doesn't get repeated in the future. When approached for comment on losing the world's most prestigious movie competition, a tearful producer/director Graham Stoney could say only: “I'm not surprised... We forgot to enter.”