Category Archives: Health

The Grichter Scale of Migraine Headache Intensity

Migraine Headaches Feel Like This.

Migraine Headaches Feel Like This.

Most of my life I've suffered from debilitating migraine headaches.

Now that you feel all sorry for me, here's the helpful scale I came up with for rating their intensity. It's pi-exponential so the pain slightly more than triples with each increment:

0: No pain, no gain

1: Slightly tense, no worries

2: Is that a headache coming on?

3: Push through; keep working

4: Starting to feel anxious about this

5: Just on the good side of bad

6: Get really distracting now

7: Remember to breathe

8: Take painkillers

9: With codeine

10: Call mom

11: Nausea, vomiting, want to die… Continue reading…

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How To Be A Dickhead Personal Trainer

I recently had a conversation with a personal trainer at Fitness First on Collins Street, Melbourne that highlighted for me how not to work with a potential new client. Now I don't want to malign this fine institution or their personal trainers in general; I don't know the stringent requirements they have for the position, nor do I want to suggest that all their trainers treat potential clients the same way.

This Guy Is Probably A Lot Better

This Guy Is Probably A Lot Better

I'd probably include the specific trainers name here to avoid any possibility of confusion, if I could remember it; but I don't remember it, and frankly don't want to. I'll just call him “Mr Trainer”, on the basis that if I show him some respect, he might learn to do the same to me.

The interaction left me feeling cranky until I could channel my anger passive-aggressively into this article. So here … Continue reading…

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What's Great About Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?

In case you haven't already heard, I've been suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) for almost 5 years. Goddam yuppie flu. I would have thought that was long enough for you to pick up on; but perhaps not. Now when I say “suffering”, the gurus tell me that suffering is all in the mind; it's just a matter of how you look at things. If you want to alleviate your suffering, all you have to do is express gratitude for the positive side. That sort of talk generally just makes me angry. Play this repeatedly for at least an hour to get an idea of what it's like:

But maybe the gurus are onto something. If I can't actually feel better, maybe I can feel better about it. So after skydiving into the CFS cloud in search of it's silver lining, here's what I've come up with … Continue reading…

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Anti-Vaccination Campaigner Dies Of Rubella

Doctors at Byron District Hospital this morning announced the sudden and unexpected death of leading anti-vaccination campaigner Meryl Dopey from rubella, a vaccine-preventable illness.

Ms Dopey is reported to have developed a fever of paranoid stupidity while penning a hyperbolic missive denigrating the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation's campaign to eradicate polio, a preventable disease which continues to kill and cripple children in the third world. “Those starving kids are suffering anyway; if they don't die of polio, they're just going to die of hunger.”, she wrote shortly before her death, continuing “Their so-called 'foundation' has been linked with the notorious Rotary International in its genocidal efforts to murder this helpless virus. Bill Gates should stop shoving his nose into other people's illness and stick to making crap software.”

By the time she reached the hospital, the rubella virus had infected her brain. “We were surprised it could … Continue reading…

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I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just A Little Unwell by Leigh Hatcher

Leigh Hatcher's autobiographical book focuses heavily on his experience of the much-maligned Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Hatcher's account of the physical pain, exhaustion and suffering involved left me with little doubt that this mystery illness simply hasn't been linked to its physical cause yet by medical science.

Hatcher speaks forcefully about the damage done by well meaning people who thought what he was going through was "all in the mind". In doing so, he does much to raise awareness of the physical nature of CFS; but unfortunately rebuttal will do little to de-stigmatise mental illness, which is every bit as real to those who suffer from it. To Hatcher, the suggestion that his illness could be psychological in nature was hugely destructive and stigmatising. We are still far from fully understanding the inner workings of the human mind, and I found it interesting that Hatcher had such a strongly reaction … Continue reading…

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Cry of the Damaged Man by Tony Moore

This relatively short, easy to read book describes the author's physical, psychological and emotional recovery from a near fatal traffic accident while on his routine drive to work.

I got the feeling that Tony Moore has only just scratched the surface of describing the tumultuous emotions which came to the surface when his previous busy life was halted and replaced with one where initially survival took precedence over everything else. And later on with the enforced suspension of his career he had the time to start dealing with emotional, personal and spiritual issues which many of us manage to push to the back burner in our business. The book seemed somewhat fragmented and a little detached to me, which perhaps reflects his state of mind during the period described.

One of the most interesting points for me was the author's almost clichéd change of priorities and mindset about what was … Continue reading…

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