The Grichter Scale of Migraine Headache Intensity

Migraine Headaches Feel Like This.

Migraine Headaches Feel Like This.

Most of my life I’ve suffered from debilitating migraine headaches.

Now that you feel all sorry for me, here’s the helpful scale I came up with for rating their intensity. It’s pi-exponential so the pain slightly more than triples with each increment:

0: No pain, no gain

1: Slightly tense, no worries

2: Is that a headache coming on?

3: Push through; keep working

4: Starting to feel anxious about this

5: Just on the good side of bad

6: Get really distracting now

7: Remember to breathe

8: Take painkillers

9: With codeine

10: Call mom

11: Nausea, vomiting, want to die… Continue reading…

How To Be A Dickhead Personal Trainer

I recently had a conversation with a personal trainer at Fitness First on Collins Street, Melbourne that highlighted for me how not to work with a potential new client. Now I don’t want to malign this fine institution or their personal trainers in general; I don’t know the stringent requirements they have for the position, nor do I want to suggest that all their trainers treat potential clients the same way.

This Guy Is Probably A Lot Better

This Guy Is Probably A Lot Better

I’d probably include the specific trainers name here to avoid any possibility of confusion, if I could remember it; but I don’t remember it, and frankly don’t want to. I’ll just call him “Mr Trainer”, on the basis that if I show him some respect, he might learn to do the same to me.

The interaction left me feeling cranky until I could channel my anger passive-aggressively into this article. So here are a few suggestions on how to deal with potential clients that other personal trainers might find helpful if you want to come across as a real dickhead: (more…)

Anti-Vaccination Campaigner Dies Of Rubella

Doctors at Byron District Hospital this morning announced the sudden and unexpected death of leading anti-vaccination campaigner Meryl Dopey from rubella, a vaccine-preventable illness.

Ms Dopey is reported to have developed a fever of paranoid stupidity while penning a hyperbolic missive denigrating the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’s campaign to eradicate polio, a preventable disease which continues to kill and cripple children in the third world. “Those starving kids are suffering anyway; if they don’t die of polio, they’re just going to die of hunger.”, she wrote shortly before her death, continuing “Their so-called ‘foundation’ has been linked with the notorious Rotary International in its genocidal efforts to murder this helpless virus. Bill Gates should stop shoving his nose into other people’s illness and stick to making crap software.”

By the time she reached the hospital, the rubella virus had infected her brain. “We were surprised it could … Continue reading…

I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just A Little Unwell by Leigh Hatcher

Leigh Hatcher’s autobiographical book focuses heavily on his experience of the much-maligned Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Hatcher’s account of the physical pain, exhaustion and suffering involved left me with little doubt that this mystery illness simply hasn’t been linked to its physical cause yet by medical science.

Hatcher speaks forcefully about the damage done by well meaning people who thought what he was going through was “all in the mind”. In doing so, he does much to raise awareness of the physical nature of CFS; but unfortunately rebuttal will do little to de-stigmatise mental illness, which is every bit as real to those who suffer from it. To Hatcher, the suggestion that his illness could be psychological in nature was hugely destructive and stigmatising. We are still far from fully understanding the inner workings of the human mind, and I found it interesting that Hatcher had such a strongly reaction to … Continue reading…