Graham: I have a confession to make: there are these two voices in my head, vying for my attention all the time. I think I'll make a video about them for my YouTube channel.
Love: Oh cool, that sounds awesome! Everyone has voices in their head; so many people will relate. This video, is going viral!
Fear: Nobody will watch it.
Love: It'll be great... we'll do it backwards!
Fear: It's been done: Eternal Sunshine?
Love: It'll have multiple layers!
Fear: Such a cliché. Inception?
Love: It'll be hilarious... like, self-referential and everything.
Fear: Unoriginal. Being John Malcovich?
Love: It'll even poke fun at itself!
Fear: Like Woody Allen's early work?
Love: We could even do a trilogy!
Fear: The Matrix? Star Wars? Hitchhikers'? Harry Potter...
Graham: They never let up. Let me introduce them to you:
Love: I'm the voice of love! When you listen to me, anything is possible! Life is one big, exciting adventure just filled to the brim with fun, new possibilities every single day.
Fear: I'm the voice of fear! It's my job to make sure that a dumb-ass like you doesn't do anything dangerous or stupid, like having too much fun.
Graham: These guys are always arguing. Weighing in on everything I do.
Fear: Why bother even making this video, if nobody's going to watch it?
Love: Well why bother making anything?
Fear: Good point! You're probably just going to embarrass yourself anyway.
Love: At least he's contributing. What do you contribute to the world?
Fear: Safety and security.
Love: Bullshit... more like anxiety and paranoia, if you ask me.
Graham: They have very different perspectives on life and how to live it.
Love: Life is a game! A big, fun, exciting game where you discover the rules for yourself as you go along.
Fear: No it's not. Life is about following other people's rules. Don't you remember: trust and obey, for there's no other way. Hmmm... that's kinda catchy; I think I could set that to music... help condition young minds into life-long subservience.
Love: Subservience? Huh! Trust yourself, I say. Your intuition knows what to do, deep down. It's way more fun to live life according to your own rules.
Graham: They tell me different things about myself too:
Love: You're a creative genius!
Fear: Creative genius my ass. You made a movie about your Big Toe, for fucks sake!
Love: Hey, it got listed on IMDB!
Fear: So did Waterworld.
Graham: They just see everything differently:
Fear: There's not enough to go around! You're going to miss out if you're not careful!
Love: Life is abundant: There's plenty for everyone.
Fear: Don't risk it, or you'll fuck it up.
Love: It's good to take risks. Making mistakes is just part of the learning process.
Fear: What??? Mistakes are shameful! You'll embarrass your mother.
Love: It's not your job to keep your mother happy; that's her job.
Fear: I'll punish you if you get anything wrong.
Love: I think rewarding him for his successes would be a better approach.
Fear: If at first you don't succeed... you're a failure!
Love: There's no such thing as failure; you either get what you want, or you learn something that helps you get it next time around.
Fear: Epic... fail! You... are going straight to hell.
Love: Hell only exists in the minds of people conditioned by fear. I only believe in heaven, and heaven is here right now.
Fear: God will punish you!
Love: God is love, dude! Even the bible says so.
Graham: Alright! Time-out! Time-out. We're not here for a theological debate.
Graham: Anyway, between them, these guys pretty much run the show. For instance, when I see a beautiful woman, I think:
Love: Oh cool! Let's go talk to her... let's go have some fun, find out what she's like.
Fear: She's not going to want to talk to you! What the hell are you thinking?
Love: Yeah well, not if you turn up with that attitude.
Fear: Pretty girls hate you.
Love: What??? No they don't!
Fear: Remember primary school?
Love: That was years ago. Anyway, it wasn't his fault he inherited poor communication skills. He just didn't know how to talk to them back then.
Fear: You're an asshole.
Love: He's not an asshole, you're a great guy!
Fear: They still hate you.
Love: Shut the fuck up. I can be the voice of tough love too, you know.
Graham: I might not be able to get them to stop arguing, but I can choose who I want to listen to; and that makes a big difference to how my life goes. So I've decided to spend more time listening to this guy:
Love: You have chosen... wisely.
Graham: And to turn down the volume on this reject:
Fear: What do you mean turn down the volume? You can't turn down the volume on me! Hey! What the... Bring me back! Listen to me! I'm the one running this show. You can't.... aaaaaaahhhhhh.