Category Archives: Self Esteem

How to Become a Confident Man

I've been working like a man possessed for the past few months on a new project to help men build self-confidence. I know what it's like to lack confidence as a man, and frankly it sucks because every other area of your life suffers. Sure, I learned plenty of coping mechanisms so that at times I may have appeared confident, but that wasn't what was going on inside. Some days, it still isn't. And since this has been one of my greatest challenges in life, I want to help other in guys facing it too.

Self-confidence is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It's also a sense of being at ease with yourself in any situation, and with who you are as a man. Confidence is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines … Continue reading…

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Loving Yourself by The Human Awareness Institute

I spent last weekend at a workshop on Loving Yourself run by The Human Awareness Institute (HAI). It's the second in a series of workshops they run on the topic of Love, Intimacy and Sexuality. While the confidentiality agreement prevents me from talking too much about the content of the workshop, what I can say is that it was an opportunity to profoundly deepen the connection that I felt with other people, and with myself.

I've always struggled with the idea of really loving myself, and when I first heard about the HAI courses I knew that this workshop was for me. I did the pre-requisite level 1 workshop about a year ago, and then had to wait a year before having the opportunity to do level 2. Over the course of the workshop I found myself gradually losing the inhibitions and fears about other people's judgments, which tend to … Continue reading…

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Voice Dialogue, Self Awareness and Your Inner Child

We like to think that we're consciously in control of everything we do, but the reality is that the emotions, beliefs and memories buried deep in our subconscious are running the show most of the time. And while the subconscious baggage we accumulate may have served a purpose in the past, sometimes it isn't so helpful in our present day lives. Getting in touch with our subconscious to change what's lurking down there so that it works for us rather than against us is hard because our conscious thinking gets in the way and we can end up just over-analysing ourselves.

A few years back I decided that some self-awareness was what I was missing. I just didn't see myself as positively and as capable as I seemed to be in other people's eyes. So I found a group working on self-awareness by doing inner child work. They used a … Continue reading…

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My Life So Far by Jane Fonda

I am a generation too late to really know much about Jane Fonda, and started reading her autobiography when a friend recommended it. There is lots of name dropping; clearly Ms Fonda was well-connected in her prime, but I don't recognise most of the names since they were just before my time. Nevertheless, it's a compelling story.

I was fascinated to read how such a successful woman could be haunted all her life by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Despite her feminist leaning and her courage (or was it foolishness?), there's a strong theme that without the support and approval of men, she felt worthless.

I found her description of the U.S. involvement in the Vietnamese war a disturbing indictment on the power wielded by the American military and the way in which the U.S. President of the time used it to play out his power games in a foreign … Continue reading…

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Help Yourself For Teens by Dave Pelzer

Real-Life Advice for Real-Life Challenges

This is a self-help book aimed at teenagers by the best-selling author of A Child Called "It". The book gives practical advice on a number of life issues and is interspersed with stories from Pelzer's other books concerning the horrendous abuse he suffered at the hands of his alcoholic and psychotic mother.

I'm not a teenager by a long way, and I found this book a bit too preachy for my liking. I wondered how the average teenager would take it, not to mention one that was headed off-the-rails. Nevertheless, there is a good deal of wisdom in this book certainly the author has the runs on the board, so to speak, when it comes to working with adolescents. For me though, I found his trilogy of books A Child Called It, The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave more inspiring since … Continue reading…

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