Tag Archives: Anxiety

Mother Induced Social Phobia

No wonder you feel anxious

No wonder you feel anxious

A widely prevalent and highly debilitating form of extreme social anxiety caused by being raised by a controlling or domineering mother.

Often accompanied by Nice Guy Syndrome. Male sufferers tend to exhibit passive or submissive behaviour, especially around women. Symptoms include self-consciousness, panic attacks, social anxiety, depression and a lack of direction in life. Inner conflict and mental confusion typically results from excessive critical admonishments during childhood such as: "You're just like your father!"; who while overly passive, was in fact quite a decent bloke.… Continue reading…

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Daily Affirmations For Dealing With Anxiety

I was at a rebirthing/breathwork workshop on the weekend, and we did an exercise called Primal Law. Our Primal Law is our most negative belief about ourself. I started out with the usual list of negative thoughts about myself that I've come up with in workshops a million times before:

  • I'm not good enough
  • I'm bad
  • I'm wrong
  • I have nothing to offer
  • I will fail
No Wonder I Feel So Anxious

No Wonder We Feel So Anxious

But the one that really resonated with me was something somebody else came up with:

  • I'm not safe

Well, no wonder I feel so anxious with a Primal Law like that. The next step was to convert the Primal Law into an Eternal Law that represents the truth of our existence; even though it seems like a lie at first, given what we've been telling ourselves for so long.… Continue reading…

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The Dance of Fear by Harriet Lerner

The main thing I got from this book is that fear and anxiety aren't just individual problems; they totally affect the way we relate with each other. Anxiety is contagious and gets passed around between us whenever we interact with anxious people. Families, companies, organisations, churches, countries and social groups of all kinds can become infected with anxiety that affects everyone in the group. When a social system becomes fear-based or shame-based, everyone in it suffers.

Since anxiety causes suffering, we naturally want to escape. One way of escaping is to dump our anxiety on someone else. Being a sensitive person, I've always been susceptible to having other people's anxiety dumped on me, but it's only now that I'm learning to recognise when this is happening.

This book helped me identify such a situation recently when I volunteered to lead a public speaking training course run by my Toastmaster's … Continue reading…

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