emotional intelligence

A Show About Anger

I performed A Show About Anger at The Dive Bar in the King’s Cross Hotel as part of the 2018 Sydney Fringe Festival. To set the context, it started with this monologue:

I grew up in a house where anger wasn’t handled well. Let me take you back there:

Now don’t get me wrong; my Mum lets her anger flow freely. But she rarely uses the actual words: “I am angry”. Instead, her anger comes out as hurtful criticism, put-downs and emotional bullying.

Dad isn’t any better. He bottles up his anger so badly that he often seethes with resentment so loudly that I can hear him muttering to himself when I’m playing in the next room. It’s frightening.

All it takes is for Mum to walk in and say: “What’s wrong with you? You stupid creature!”

And BANG… the next round of World War 3 is back on again.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

Spiritual Perfectionism

Are you perfect yet? Try harder!!!

Are you perfect yet? Try harder!!!

Spiritual Perfectionism: The tendency of some spiritual teachers, gurus, mentors and/or their followers to pretend that enlightened beings and/or those on the path to enlightenment, do not or should not ever experience unpleasant emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt and shame.… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Mastering Emotions at Passionately Alive

I often feel that my emotions are running my life. When it comes to happiness, joy, peace and love, that’s fine by me; but when it’s fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness or depression, that’s not so good. We like to think that we’re in conscious control of our lives all the time, but the reality is that everything we do is driven by an emotion of one sort or another. We’re constantly either seeking the pleasant emotions or avoiding the unpleasant ones. Our emotions exist in our subconscious, so we often aren’t consciously aware of them until they pop up strongly enough to interrupt what we’re doing and make their presence felt. But they still play their role whether we acknowledge it or not; and if we ignore them, they just get louder and stronger until we start paying attention.

Our society places a premium analytical thinking and often downplays the … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago