Anger

Inner West Council Busking Permit

I Got My Busking Permit!!!

I played the inaugural Stanmore Music Festival last year, which was held on 16th November 2019. In anticipation of the big day, Margot and I both applied for busking permits with Inner West Council, the local council which governs Stanmore.

I put my application in on 24th September 2019, thinking that 8 weeks notice should be plenty of time to get my permit, and went ahead and played despite not hearing anything back.

Well, my permit just came through, over a year later, and 10 months after the festival. (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Anger Denialism

The tendency among many modern people to deny their anger and pretend that they do not get upset when their needs aren’t met, fuelled by the overwhelming fear of speaking the words: “I feel angry”.

Often the result of misguided cultural or spiritual teaching that portrays anger as a “negative” emotion that must be avoided, suppressed or denied at all costs.

Let It Out, Dude

Anger denialists are deeply afraid of both their own inner rage and the anger of others, leading them to shut down healthy expressions of anger in themselves and others, in order to avoid their own feelings of guilt, fear, shame or embarrassment.

Over the long term, this leads to a sense of frustration that finds outlet via passive-aggressive behaviour which alienates other people, leaving them even less likely to meet the anger denialist’s needs; thus fuelling an ongoing cycle of thinly repressed rage.

The resulting suppressed anger can lead to explosive and unexpected outbursts when triggered, and/or may be internalised as anxiety and depression in the truly strident denialist.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

The Song To Play When You’re Having A Bad Day

I was gifted the song Everything Is Fucked by the Divine Creator during a yin yoga class in North Bondi, Sydney, Australia at 6:37pm on 17th February 2017; while in Frog pose for seven agonising minutes.

At the time, I had been suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for nine years and after five months pushing myself through three excruciating yoga sessions a week, wasn’t getting the results that I had hoped for. I had totally failed to pick-up at a yoga studio full of gorgeous young women, I was rapidly going broke because my Life Coaching business had failed to really take off (who wants a sick Life Coach?!?), both my elderly parents had been diagnosed with cancer, a sweet hot girl I met online and completely fell for had started going out with a musician who lived 12,000 km closer to her than me; and I was still chronically ill. When the dishwasher in my apartment appeared to have stopped working properly, that was the last straw for me.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

What To Do When Social And Traditional Media Mocks You

I was on the way home from college last week feeling very tired and irritable as I lugged my acoustic guitar, case & backpack from train to bus after an intense day of musical collaboration. As my mind drifted through the things that have irritated me recently, I remembered a recent experience on the morning bus. In a misguided attempt to get it off my chest I posted the following message about it on the Bondi Local Loop Facebook group, which at the time had over 42,000 local members:

To the lady who abused me on the packed 389 from North Bondi the other morning as she alighted at Bondi Junction by shouting: “I hope your bag enjoyed the seat, you fucking prick”: I would have preferred you to ask me politely to please move over during the trip if you wanted the seat. That would have given me the opportunity to point out the full sized acoustic guitar case that you didn’t see was taking all the leg room on the seat beside me. That way you wouldn’t have had to spend the journey fuming at me for no good reason, and I wouldn’t have had to cop your misguided abuse. Please be more assertive in future, not passive and then aggressive. Thank you.

I failed to mention in my original rant that I have a chronic health condition that makes standing for long periods rather challenging. The bus in question didn’t have a luggage space suitable for a guitar, and I didn’t mention that either. Nor was the woman in question standing anywhere near me during the journey; she was behind me on the bus, and for all I know she may have already had a seat herself. Only at the very end did she express her disapproval, and she chose to do so in a manner that left me powerless to do anything about her complaint. I figured that even without this secret inside knowledge, it’s self-evident that abusing people on public transport isn’t an effective way to influence someone who is doing something you don’t like. (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

The Top 10 Things That Make Me Angry

I feel like this guy some times

I feel like this guy some times

I’ve been doing a lot of work around anger lately; an emotion that I used to suppress and internalise much to my detriment. It’s not healthy to suck down your rage. Now that I’ve started to release the internal pressure cooker, things have become a little explosive and everything seems to be pissing me off.

So for your amusement, here are my Top 10 Things That Make Me Angry: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Suicide Joke Gets Heckled at the Local Open Mic Night

I went to a local open mic comedy night here in Sydney on Wednesday night, to get up and do a four minute set.

There is plenty of angst on display by the comedians on the night for the audience’s entertainment. The MC leads the charge with a series of acrostic poems clearly displaying his disdain and resentment towards his stepfather. I didn’t even know what an acrostic poem was, so it turned out both enlightening and educational. He also does several bits in between other comedian’s sets, about his experience of depression, and of ironic conversations with his therapist.

Comedians Feel Like This about Hecklers and Step-Fathers Sometimes.

Comedians Feel Like This about Hecklers and Step-Fathers Sometimes.

Several other comedians also speak about being depressed, taking antidepressants, seeing psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors or therapists. Most of the stories sound funny, most of the time. But these people are clearly suffering.

I get a strong sense that a lot of … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago