The #1 Reason To Stop Seeking Other People’s Approval

When we’re a child, we’re biologically wired to seek the approval of adults around us. Otherwise we would die. Humans are born with very poor individual survival instincts, so we are reliant on our parents and other caregivers to teach us how to avoid threats to our well-being. We are born to instinctively trust our parents and to seek their love and approval, however misguided they may be. We learn pretty early on in life to do what we can to keep them happy. And while we also develop our own ideas about what we want quite young, often we get punished harshly when our desires conflict with those of our parents. Some parents withhold their love and approval when we disobey, which uses the power of our own instincts against us. This is why you see so many parents giving their children behaviour-reinforcing proclamations like “good boy/girl!” or admonishments like "bad boy/girl!" (more…)

By Graham, ago
Self Esteem

Help Yourself For Teens by Dave Pelzer

Real-Life Advice for Real-Life Challenges

This is a self-help book aimed at teenagers by the best-selling author of A Child Called "It". The book gives practical advice on a number of life issues and is interspersed with stories from Pelzer's other books concerning the horrendous abuse he suffered at the hands of his alcoholic and psychotic mother.

I'm not a teenager by a long way, and I found this book a bit too preachy for my liking. I wondered how the average teenager would take it, not to mention one that was headed off-the-rails. Nevertheless, there is a good deal of wisdom in this book certainly the author has the runs on the board, so to speak, when it comes to working with adolescents. For me though, I found his trilogy of books A Child Called It, The Lost Boy and A Man Named Dave more inspiring since … Continue reading…

By Graham, ago