13 Signs That You Have Abandonment Issues

So you’re sitting in a room by yourself at your computer/phone, searching the Internet for the umpteenth time to try and work out what the hell is wrong with you.

Are you feeling a little abandoned?

You have abandonment issues, obviously!

Unlucky.

Here are thirteen other clues:

1. You feel a deep inner sadness when the cute girl/guy sitting next to you on the bus gets off.
2. You break out in a cold sweat at the mere thought of rejection.
3. Your heart aches when nobody retweets your last hilarious tweet.
4. You ended all your past relationships, but somehow it still feels like they left you.
5. You’ve had years of therapy, but you’re still angry with your mother.
6. You begin all your sentences with the word “you”, even though you really mean “I”.
7. You meditate/pray with your eyes open, to make sure the other people are still there.
8. You move to a different city and tell your friends that they are abandoning you.
9. You feel an aching loneliness when the cute girl/guy you smile at in the street walks past you with an stony face.
10. You think “Why don’t they ever call?” while checking your Facebook newsfeed.
11. You’re overwhelmed with anxiety and jealousy when your Skype friend with benefits overseas starts dating someone local.
12. You’re convinced that your friends no longer love you when they take more than 5 minutes to return your phone calls.
13. You feel despondent when nobody shares your blog posts.