So you're sitting in a room by yourself at your computer/phone, searching the Internet for the umpteenth time to try and work out what the hell is wrong with you.
You have abandonment issues, obviously!
Here are thirteen other clues:
- You feel a deep inner sadness when the cute girl/guy sitting next to you on the bus gets off.
- You break out in a cold sweat at the mere thought of rejection.
- Your heart aches when nobody retweets your last hilarious tweet.
- You ended all your past relationships, but somehow it still feels like they left you.
- You've had years of therapy, but you're still angry with your mother.
- You begin all your sentences with the word “you”, even though you really mean “I”.
- You meditate/pray with your eyes open, to make sure the other people are still there.
- You move to a different city and tell your friends that they are abandoning you.
- You feel an aching loneliness when the cute girl/guy you smile at in the street walks past you with an stony face.
- You think “Why don't they ever call?” while checking your Facebook newsfeed.
- You're overwhelmed with anxiety and jealousy when your Skype friend with benefits overseas starts dating someone local.
- You're convinced that your friends no longer love you when they take more than 5 minutes to return your phone calls.
- You feel despondent when nobody shares your blog posts.