Tag Archives: psychology

Lie To Me

One of my favourite TV shows is Lie To Me. Tim Roth plays Dr Cal Lightman, an eccentric expert in deception detection who runs his own consulting business primarily assisting lawyers and prosecutors get to the truth. There's always a story behind the story, and the trick is to work out who's lying about it. His techniques combine reading of facial microexpressions, body language, gestures and human behaviour to discern the true emotions of everyone involved; often including his own staff.

Having learned the art of stripping away people's facades to reveal what is really going on underneath, Dr Lightman has an arrogant edge about him, which is tempered by his paranoia and the painful dysfunctional relationships that he finds himself in. He sees through the white lies that other people spin to soften the real truth from him, and relies on his ability to cut through the protective … Continue reading…

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Escaping Toxic Guilt by Susan Carrell

Five Proven Steps to Free Yourself from Guilt for Good!

I came across this book while scouring the library shelves for something on topic of dealing with shame. Guilt and shame are close relatives. This book defines guilt as feeling bad about something you've done, and shame as feeling bad about who you are. Hmm... I could relate to that.

Firstly the book distinguishes between good guilt, which reminds us when we've violated one of our own personal values and prompts us to make amends or to act differently next time; and bad guilt, where somebody else's agenda is at work causing us to suffer unnecessarily or to fall under their controlling influence.

In the second section, the author outlines some common guilt-inducing situations, like relationship break-ups, divorces, and dramas over where we will have Christmas or Thanksgiving this year.

Then once you've identified your guilt as unhelpful and … Continue reading…

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Shame

I recognize shame in myself as the fear of what other people think about me. While many people feel shameful about a specific event that has happened to them or something they've done in the past, for me it's more a general fear of what other people are thinking based on my own feelings of unworthiness. It makes me feel self-conscious, restricts my movements and actions, leaving me feeling trapped. It's common for many people to feel a sense of shame about themselves. At an anger management workshop I recently attended, I felt free to dance uninhibitedly at the end while I noticed the girl next to me being much more constricted. Healing shame is a process, and she was slowly releasing her inhibitions as she was making progress. Shame is still one of my main areas of frustration with myself, but I have come a long way when it … Continue reading…

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Mastering Emotions at Passionately Alive

I often feel that my emotions are running my life. When it comes to happiness, joy, peace and love, that's fine by me; but when it's fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness or depression, that's not so good. We like to think that we're in conscious control of our lives all the time, but the reality is that everything we do is driven by an emotion of one sort or another. We're constantly either seeking the pleasant emotions or avoiding the unpleasant ones. Our emotions exist in our subconscious, so we often aren't consciously aware of them until they pop up strongly enough to interrupt what we're doing and make their presence felt. But they still play their role whether we acknowledge it or not; and if we ignore them, they just get louder and stronger until we start paying attention.

Our society places a premium analytical thinking and often downplays the … Continue reading…

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Voice Dialogue, Self Awareness and Your Inner Child

We like to think that we're consciously in control of everything we do, but the reality is that the emotions, beliefs and memories buried deep in our subconscious are running the show most of the time. And while the subconscious baggage we accumulate may have served a purpose in the past, sometimes it isn't so helpful in our present day lives. Getting in touch with our subconscious to change what's lurking down there so that it works for us rather than against us is hard because our conscious thinking gets in the way and we can end up just over-analysing ourselves.

A few years back I decided that some self-awareness was what I was missing. I just didn't see myself as positively and as capable as I seemed to be in other people's eyes. So I found a group working on self-awareness by doing inner child work. They used a … Continue reading…

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