Anger Denialism

The tendency among many modern people to deny their anger and pretend that they do not get upset when their needs aren’t met, fuelled by the overwhelming fear of speaking the words: “I feel angry”.

Often the result of misguided cultural or spiritual teaching that portrays anger as a “negative” emotion that must be avoided, suppressed or denied at all costs.

Let It Out, Dude

Anger denialists are deeply afraid of both their own inner rage and the anger of others, leading them to shut down healthy expressions of anger in themselves and others, in order to avoid their own feelings of guilt, fear, shame or embarrassment.

Over the long term, this leads to a sense of frustration that finds outlet via passive-aggressive behaviour which alienates other people, leaving them even less likely to meet the anger denialist’s needs; thus fuelling an ongoing cycle of thinly repressed rage.

The resulting suppressed anger can lead to explosive and unexpected outbursts when triggered, and/or may be internalised as anxiety and depression in the truly strident denialist.

Often most prevalent in spiritual communities where people searching for enlightenment are unwilling or unable to acknowledge their shadow self. Can be reinforced by misinterpretation of spiritual teachings such as “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” or “You get more of what you focus on”, and is often evidenced by premature delivery of The Forgiveness Speech.

Also rampant in discussions on social media sites like Facebook groups or YouTube video comments, where keyboard warriors spar pointlessly with each other without directly revealing or acknowledging their anger, even to themselves.

Anger denying parents often display explosive or violent outbursts causing their children to develop a deep-seated fear of any expression of anger; thus perpetuating the problem of anger denial in the next generation.

Many anger denialists pursue careers as therapists, life coaches, spiritual teachers, healers or bloggers so they can “help” other people hide from their inner rage too.