I Posted This Article On My Blog. You Won’t BELIEVE What Happened Next…

This morning, I wrote this trite, pointless article with no socially redeeming value whatsoever, that makes broad sweeping generalisations and insults an entire demographic of people I’ve never even met before, just so that I can claim the moral high ground.

The Sexy Girl Isn’t Actually Naked. Sorry, I Lied.

It makes no contribution to humanity. It’s real purpose is just to get you to visit my site so that you will subscribe to the newsletter and click on my advertisements.

Then, I attached a stock photo of a sexy naked girl, with no relevance to the actual content of the article as a featured image, just to make you think that the article would be visually appealing.

Then, I posted it on my blog with a formulaic, sensationalist headline as click bait.

You won’t believe what happened next:

You clicked on it.

Then you read it, and as you did, a nagging sense of disappointment set in as you realised that the content didn’t live up to the headline. In fact, you do believe what happened next, because it’s happened before. And it will happen again, because you have no life. You have nothing better to do with your time than click on pointless articles on the Internet, because you hate your job while you’re at work, and would rather surf the net than talk to your annoying family when you’re at home.

Before long, that restless feeling is back as you realise that this article is never going to deliver the deep sense of durable fulfilment that you’ve been searching for your whole life. So you subscribe to the newsletter anyway, in a vain attempt to rescue a sense of not having entirely wasted your time here.

Disappointed with the obvious deception, you leave an angry comment that has no impact because nobody important will ever read it. Nevertheless, it at least leaves you with the feeling that you’ve made a difference today. But you haven’t. The only people who reply are other people like you with nothing better to do than waste their time leaving passive-aggressive comments on pointless articles like this one, before going back to checking their Facebook news and Twitter feeds again.

Since your time is so valuable, you click off to something on another site before even getting to the end of the article, not realizing that the next site will install some spyware on your computer which will lead to an identity theft that will ruin your entire life.