My Cleaner Does Comedy

Ah, the humble clothes peg. A million and one household uses. Open pretty much any box of anything in my house and what you’ll find is a clothes peg ensuring the continued freshness of the delicious contents.

Speaking of delicious contents, I’m currently on one of those food sensitivities/allergy elimination diets where you eliminate anything with any flavor from your diet and then you start reintroducing foods to see what you’re sensitive to, starting with your nut-free, dairy-free, wheat-free, gluten-free, soy-free, meat-free, taste-free vegan crap.

So I was sitting at my breakfast table the other day eating my cardboard-flavored buckwheat pancakes when I looked up and I saw this: Hello, I’m a clothes peg. See, I’d had the cleaner in the day before and she’d left me this little note. I’m like, oh my God, now my cleaner’s doing comedy. I don’t even know when she did it. Like, I was here the whole time playing my drums, and at some point during the day while she was cleaning she’s thought to pen this little note and stick it to my box of lentils.

Now, I’m not exactly sure how to interpret this because the punctuation is a little ambiguous. Is it, “Hello, I’m a clothes peg”? Or is it, “Hello. I’m a clothes peg”? Or is it, “Hello… I’m a clothes peg!”? Well, I’m not really sure. But what I do know is that now my cleaner’s doing comedy. What’s she going to do next, burst into song and turn into a musical? I’ll have a look and I’ll keep you posted.