Lessons Learned From Didn’t Feel Safe

I learned a lot from doing this assignment, particularly the practicalities of how to implement what I’d studied in the Introduction to Digital Music Techniques lectures. As helpful as the lecture material was, this is definitely something that can only really be learned by doing it.

I also watched a lot of LinkedIn Learning courses and YouTube videos on music production to prepare for and complete this assignment. A lot of artistic and technical choices come down to experience though, which is best developed by trying ideas out and seeing what works.

Writing, recording, producing, mixing and mastering a meaningful track diving deep into childhood trauma from scratch in a couple of weeks was a big undertaking. I have mixed feelings about taking on such an ambitious task. It was definitely a stretch goal for me. I could probably do it faster and/or better if I was to repeat the task now knowing what I learned in the process, but invariably I’d be writing a new song about a different topic and would still want to do a lot of experimenting and push new boundaries. This project definitely pushed me to rise to the challenge.

I spent a lot of time on compositional aspects and using Logic Pro was instrumental in my compositional process, so I was always using the Introduction to Digital Music techniques at every step of the way. For instance, applied a de-esser, EQ, compression and reverb to my scratch vocals right from the beginning to see where they would sit in the mix, ever mindful of the magical tools of contrast and Layer Cake Orchestration^TM.

This was quite an emotionally challenging project, since it delved deep into a traumatic area of my life that I’m still processing. Feelings of shame, fear, anxiety, anger, hopelessness and helplessness came up for me at various points and I dealt with these by expressing them through music, talking the over with supportive friends, and taking a break when necessary.

There was a point at which I thought “This is just shit” and wanted to quit. I worried what my mother would think, what my sisters would think, what other students would think of what I’d done, whether I’d get a good mark for it and what reception it will get when I release it to a wider audience. I feel like I’m exposing our family secret, but it’s a secret that’s kept me trapped which I don’t want to keep any more.

All in all, it was a good experience and I learned heaps. I’m glad I kept going when I wanted to quit, got it all off my chest and can now move onto other, hopefully more uplifting projects. The final track is here:

Speaking of uplifting: Just for fun, I’ll send a free Difficult First Show I Didn’t Go Unisex T-shirt to the first person to leave a comment below identifying the final motif that ends the track. To protect everyone’s academic integrity, employees of Sydney University are not eligible to enter, sorry.