The Top 10 Things That Make Me Angry

[caption id="attachment_1975" align="alignright" width="300"]I feel like this guy some times I feel like this guy some times[/caption] I've been doing a lot of work around anger lately; an emotion that I used to suppress and internalise much to my detriment. It's not healthy to suck down your rage. Now that I've started to release the internal pressure cooker, things have become a little explosive and everything seems to be pissing me off. So for your amusement, here are my Top 10 Things That Make Me Angry: (more…)

By Graham, ago

How To Have A Really Good Argument

When I was young, my parents used to argue... a lot. They got really good at it, because they put so much time and effort into practising. Screaming, shouting and hurling painful insults at each other was the order of the day. The more cutting the insult, the more points they scored off each other as their mutual self-esteem gradually wore lower and lower while they verbally pummelled each other into the ground. Winning the argument was more important than anything else. They had the ability to drag a single argument out for days, weeks, months... even years! It was like being on the sidelines of one of those long and boring tennis matches that just goes on and on and on long past your bedtime, swinging from advantage server to advantage receiver depending on who had just fired the most powerful volley at their opponent. They may have started out at love all but gradually wore each other down bit by bit until they were too exhausted to play on and the match eventually got halted mid-play to be continued the next day. (more…)

By Graham, ago

A Practical Guide to How Your Brain Works

Given that our brain is where the thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs and decisions that guide our whole life arise I think it's helpful to have a rudimentary understanding of how it works so we can use it more effectively.

Your brain is the most complex system in the known universe. Over eighty billion massively interconnected neurons form the most complex parallel-processing biological computer imaginable, and it's right there in your head controlling your every move. Nobody fully understands how it works, which isn't at all surprising when you consider that we're using our brain to try to understand itself. That's like a computer trying to understanding itself. So I can hardly do it justice in a single article but here's a rough guide to the features I think are most important.

Consciousness and The Mind

The mind is a function of our brain. When people talk about “the mind”, they … Continue reading…

By Graham, ago

Mastering Emotions at Passionately Alive

I often feel that my emotions are running my life. When it comes to happiness, joy, peace and love, that's fine by me; but when it's fear, sadness, anxiety, loneliness or depression, that's not so good. We like to think that we're in conscious control of our lives all the time, but the reality is that everything we do is driven by an emotion of one sort or another. We're constantly either seeking the pleasant emotions or avoiding the unpleasant ones. Our emotions exist in our subconscious, so we often aren't consciously aware of them until they pop up strongly enough to interrupt what we're doing and make their presence felt. But they still play their role whether we acknowledge it or not; and if we ignore them, they just get louder and stronger until we start paying attention.

Our society places a premium analytical thinking and often downplays the … Continue reading…

By Graham, ago

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

Do you ever get the feeling that you're the only one on the planet with feelings? Does it sometimes seem as though your life is at the mercy of your moods? Does everyone around you seem to be cruising along just fine with their emotional barrier up, making it difficult for you to connect with them, and leaving you feeling like there's something wrong with you? Do you feel out of place because you're a man, and men aren't supposed to have feelings; or do you feel that because you're a woman with feelings, you're playing second fiddle to the cold, hard men that rule the planet?

I can relate to these feelings sometimes, and with this in mind I recently tackled Daniel Goleman's book, Emotional Intelligence. It seemed to me that the message I'd received from my family, my all-boys high school and my society at large while … Continue reading…

By Graham, ago