Comedy Therapist

Oscar Statue

2013 Oscars Stub My Big Toe

In a huge shock to legitimate movie fans worldwide, the epic blockbuster My Big Toe was completely snubbed by its peers as it failed to win a single Oscar at this year’s 85th Motion Picture Academy Awards ceremony in Hollywood.

Oscar Statue

My Big Toe failed to win one of these

The epic saga, which depicts the heroic story of one man’s quest to save the universe and gain enlightenment, had been expected to clean sweep the Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Cinematography, Best Director, Best Script, Best Music, and the coveted Best Anatomically Correct Feature film categories. The obligatory making-of documentary [intlink id=”616″ type=”post”]Inside My Big Toe: The Making of a Masterpiece[/intlink] had also been expected to pick up the Oscar for Best Documentary.

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By Graham Stoney, ago
Frowny

How To Be Unhappy

There are a lot of happy people in the world today. Sure, we all have difficulties now and then, but for the most part we live at a time when we have more opportunity, greater personal safety and a longer life expectancy than any time in history. So many of us have the potential to be quite happy.

Smiley

Learn To Turn This…

This is a big problem for advertisers and companies marketing products at us that we don’t really need. Most advertising targets areas of dissatisfaction in our lives, suggesting that we fill the void or distract ourselves from our pain by purchasing products of little intrinsic value. The happier we are, the harder advertisers have to work to convince us that we need that new car, can of cola, or aftershave in order to attract the people we want into our lives. And major pharmaceutical manufacturers would go out of business if we all felt happy and didn’t need to rely on the latest round of antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications. Wealthy shareholders are suffering as a result.

To help address these problems, here are my tips on How to be Unhappy:

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

I have a friend of mine whose relationship looks to me like the emotional rollercoaster from hell. When it’s good, it’s very very good; but when it’s bad, it’s horrid. From what I can tell, his girlfriend has a very high analytical intelligence but lacks emotional intelligence. Whenever she’s upset, she treats him like crap and he has a tendency to let her walk all over him. He really likes her so he swings between being happy as Larry and anxious as all hell.

Recently he’s started to man-up and tell her that it’s not OK for her to treat him like trash. When he does this, she settles down and starts to take responsibility for her own feelings instead of just dumping on him. Then later on she blows up again.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Meditate

A lot of people these days are stressed out to the max. There’s work pressure, family pressure, relationship pressure, home pressure, financial pressure. Pressure, pressure, pressure. We race from one thing to the next in the eternal search for happiness, oblivious to the fact that the peace of mind and contentment that we seek already lies within. We just have to stop long enough to get in touch with it. But we’re afraid of stopping because when we do, all the unpleasant emotions that lie between us and that inner peace come up and bite us. As a result, we push push push ourselves into ever increasing amounts of stress until we burn out and/or our health self-destructs.

What’s the answer to dealing with the stresses of modern life? Personally I find meditation helpful and I do it every day. Lots of people are interested in meditation but just don’t know how to do it. They’re worried about getting it wrong and doing some terrible damage to their brain, or just wasting time sitting there feeling restless because they’re using the “wrong” technique.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Be A Successful Loser

I have a recently-ex friend of mine who really gives me the shits. Let’s call him “Garry”… because that’s his name. Garry is what I call a “successful loser”. He worked hard, became successful and made a lot of money; but then threw his success away because he was unhappy. Ever since I’ve know him, he’s been at a bit of a loose end trying to sort out what to do with his life. Restless and unhappy, he spends much of his time spreading his misery and unhappiness to others. But this morning thinking about Garry inadvertently led to the epiphany which I am convinced is going to change my life.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Have A Really Good Argument

When I was young, my parents used to argue… a lot. They got really good at it, because they put so much time and effort into practising. Screaming, shouting and hurling painful insults at each other was the order of the day. The more cutting the insult, the more points they scored off each other as their mutual self-esteem gradually wore lower and lower while they verbally pummelled each other into the ground.

Winning the argument was more important than anything else. They had the ability to drag a single argument out for days, weeks, months… even years! It was like being on the sidelines of one of those long and boring tennis matches that just goes on and on and on long past your bedtime, swinging from advantage server to advantage receiver depending on who had just fired the most powerful volley at their opponent. They may have started out at love all but gradually wore each other down bit by bit until they were too exhausted to play on and the match eventually got halted mid-play to be continued the next day.

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Overcome Perfectionism

A lot of people these days are struggling to overcome perfectionism. This is all based on a flawed belief system which tells us that other people will love us only if we appear to be perfect. In fact, the opposite tends to be the truth: people relate to us more warmly when we reveal our flaws and weaknesses to them.

So in this life-changing video, I reveal the secret to overcoming perfectionism:

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By Graham Stoney, ago

How To Stop Drinking

I have some friends for whom excessive alcohol consumption has been a problem in the past. Sometimes still is. They go to groups where they hide their identity while climbing a dozen stairs, and label themselves as “alcoholics”.

I see them differently: I think they’re just regular people using alcohol to avoid painful feelings. Up until now, that is. (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago

Ten Clues That You’re Following The Wrong God

In ancient times, people followed lots of different gods. Nowadays, most people just follow the one… which makes it really important which one you choose. After all, your eternal destiny hangs in the balance. But there are still lots of gods to choose from, so how do you know that you’re following the right one?

God is great... because there are so many to choose from!

God is great… there are so many to choose from!

Adults generally don’t like it when you point out to them that their god isn’t real; it’s like saying they still believe in fairies. Which may be true but tends to cause a lot of defensiveness, hostility and resentment; especially when they’ve built their whole life around following their chosen god. I think it’s better to plant the seed of curious inquiry, and let them discover the painful truth for themselves.

So here are ten clues that you’re following the wrong god: (more…)

By Graham Stoney, ago