12 Signs You’re Addicted To 12-Step Meetings

A lot of my friends tell me that they’re struggling with addictions of various sorts. Some of them describe themselves as “sex addicts”, and a surprising number of those are female. Of course, I never meet them until they’re already “in recovery”, do I?

Play 12-Step Roulette. Pick a group, and go!

Everyone else I meet seems to be either alcoholic or codependent. They don’t have time to hang out with me because they’re always too busy “going to a meeting”.

So just to prove that I’m not bitter or anything, here are 12 signs that you’re addicted to 12-Step meetings:

1. You decided to stop attending 12-Step meetings for a week, but only lasted a couple of days
2. You wish people would mind their own business about the meetings you go to, and stop telling you what to do
3. You’ve switched from one 12-Step group to another in the hope that this would keep you sane
4. You find you have to attend an “eye-opener” meeting early each morning just to get kick-started for the day
5. You envy other people who can go to 12-Step meetings without getting into trouble
6. You’ve had problems connected with excessive 12-Step meetings during the past year
7. Attending too many 12-Step meetings has caused you trouble at home
8. You find yourself meeting other 12-Step group members at parties because you just don’t ever get enough
9. You tell yourself you can stop attending 12-Step meetings at any time, even though you keep going when you don’t mean to
10. You’ve missed days of work or school because of 12-Step meetings
11. You have “blackouts”: extended periods you can’t account for, during which other 12-Step group members tell you they saw you in meetings
12. You feel that your life would be better if you weren’t spending all your fucking time in 12-Step meetings