What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Not sure what to do with your life? Or do you have a grand vision for your future but don’t know where to start? Stressed out because the way forward isn’t always clear?

Confused?… Me too!

Yeah well some days I wake up with no clue what to do either. These tips haven’t worked a damn for me, but I’m sure you’ll find them helpful:

Move Your Body

That brilliant mind of yours doesn’t exist in isolation you know. It’s connected to your body via a network of 100 billion neurons, so if you need some mental stimulation there’s no easier way to get it than getting that body moving. Go for a walk, ride your bike, lift some weights or go to the gym. Get some endorphins flowing through your system and you never know what ideas might pop into your head.

Do Some Brainstorming

Sit down and start brainstorming random ideas: make a list of a thousand things you wouldn’t do in a million years. Whatever comes into your head. Don’t judge them, just write them down stream-of-consciousness style. Just let it flow:

• Learn sign language
• Visit a nudist resort
• Quit my job
• Learn to play guitar
• Become a comedian
• etc, etc

You may not come up with any sensible ideas, and even if you do you’ll have so many options to choose from that you won’t know where to start and will be more confused than ever. But at least you’ll have filled in the day doing something.

Phone A Friend

Try calling one of your no-good down-and-out friends who hasn’t a clue what he’s doing with his life either. You won’t get any good ideas from him obviously, but at least you’ll have someone empathic to listen to your whining about how shit your life is because you can’t decide what to do with it. Then try phoning Oxfam and donating some of your spare cash to help someone who’d swap their life for yours in a heartbeat, you lousy ungrateful SOB.

Try Something You Loved As A Kid

Childhood hobbies can be a rich source of adult inspiration. Have a go at riding your bicycle, pulling girls hair, or looking at your friend’s dad’s collection of naked girly pictures. Come to think of it, there’s more than enough porn out there on the Internet to keep you busy all day, every day; and since the Internet wasn’t invented when you were a kid you’ve got a lot of catching up to do before you reach the level of today’s average teenager.

Make Something

Get your creative juices going and try making something. Build something out of wood, metal or electrons. Start a blog. Or a porn site: Get some repressed ex-Catholic girls with low self-esteem and a video camera, you’ll hit the big time in no time. Why waste time and money funding criminals when you can shoot your own?

The Washing

One reliable constant in life is that there’s always washing to do, so if you’re just not sure what to do this is as good a start as any. And if by some freak of nature you don’t seem to have any washing to do, there’s plenty around at my place that you can come and help out with.

Meditate

Try doing a stillness meditation: just sit completely still in a chair doing nothing for 15 minutes. Don’t focus on your breath or watch your thoughts fly by like clouds or anything; just do absolutely nothing. If this doesn’t drive your restless ass insane and prompt you to take action, I don’t know what will.

Give Someone Else Advice

So what if you can’t seem to make your own life work: try helping someone else. Become a Life Coach. Write articles on your blog giving unsolicited advice to all and sundry. Make shit up. It doesn’t matter if you’re completely unqualified in the field. Just do it, they’re not going to know the difference.

Lie In Bed Worrying About It

My favourite! If you really can’t decide what to do today, you could try just lying in bed all day worrying about it. This way you’ll avoid taking any action at all, meaning you’re in exactly the same position tomorrow and get to do it all over again.