Comedy Therapist

How To Look Spiritual, Even When You’re Not

Looking spiritual can be a bit of a problem if you’re an atheist. This can make it particularly hard to crack onto the cute girl with the aum tattoo on her shoulder. Simply pointing out that all that chakra stuff is bullshit generally doesn’t go down too well.

I hang around with a lot of new age spiritual types these days because they tend to be more empathic and less judgemental than your average person. Less discerning perhaps too, but I’m OK with that. I may not share their wacky belief systems but I still want to fit in.

So here’s how to look spiritual even when you’re not:

Go To Yoga

Put aside all the spiritual business for a moment: yoga is a great workout, the stretching is excellent for your body, and the guy/girl ratio is the most favourable you’re ever likely to come across. I keep a … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Check Out The Trailer For This Year’s Least Anticipated Cinematic Release!

It’s been described as shorter than Star Wars, hastier than Harry Potter; less tedious than Lord Of The Rings. Finally, the cinematic blockbuster you didn’t realise you’d been waiting for your whole life is almost here.

Check out the trailer for the epic saga of a lifetime, My Big Toe:

Coming soon to YouTube.

Follow the action here on: Twitter and Facebook… Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Cults are Fun, Easy and Popular

I’m fascinated by the phenomenon of cults, and our inherent vulnerability to the influence of charismatic leaders. The topic also touches on another personal interest, the human desire and ability we have to embrace supernatural and unsubstantiated beliefs.

My personal definition of the term cult is:

A derogatory term for any religious or philosophically-based minority group whose core beliefs and values you don’t personally agree with.

Yes, I know it’s a little different from the wiktionary definition, but I want to emphasise that cultness is in the eye of the beholder. It’s a derogatory term, rarely used by the members of the cult in question, although they may use it freely referring to other cults; just not their own. When you’re in a cult, you don’t see that it’s a cult. So when someone else uses the word cult, what they really mean is that they don’t like the … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

The Survivor Approach To Dealing With Difficult Neighbours

Over the last few years, I’ve adopted a strategy for dealing with troublesome neighbours based on the theme of the reality TV show Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. Well, maybe not so much outwit and outplay, but outlast seems to be working for me with these people:

Annoying neighbours? Beat ’em at their own game

Cranky Old Men

First up was nasty neighbour Charles. I first met Charles while exploring the common property soon after buying my apartment. He a relatively short man around his mid 70s, with dark black hair, and a slight arch in his back which suggested that he was past his peak and was now growing shorter rather than taller. At first, Charles oozed charm and smarm: he was very friendly and welcoming in a rather disarming kind of way.

But things turned nasty only a couple of weeks later at the first body corporate … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Write and Present a Winning Speech

I won the Best Speech award (again) at my Toastmasters club last meeting, for a humorous speech entitled Share The Love. I love delivering funny speeches, because I get to make people laugh, I’m able to live in the moment, and I get distracted from self-consciousness by the story-telling. In short, I get to feel free. Plus I can tell immediately that the audience is engaged when they laugh. Even if they’re not laughing, they seem to be paying attention, and either way I’m in the zone having fun.

Now I know it was just a regular club meeting; it’s not like I won a humorous speech contest or anything yet, that’s coming up in a few week’s time. But here’s my process for writing and delivering a humorous speech:

Pick A Painful Story

The essence of public speaking is to tell a story, and make a point. Story-telling … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

Share The Love

Have you ever noticed that in any reasonably large group of people, there’s always one person who you just don’t seem to get on with? One person who gets in your face, and just doesn’t seem to agree with you or like you, no matter what you say or do? How do you deal with them?

Earlier this year I went to a Shamanic Practitioner’s training course, up near Byron bay. The purpose of the course was to learn shamanic healing techniques for dealing with spiritual, emotional and sexual problems. I had been lured by the promise of dealing with three of my biggest bugbears: guilt, fear and shame. It was one of those courses where you just know everyone’s going to wind up getting naked.

This was a residential course lasting 6 days, in the beautiful, warm Byron hinterland. There was a lot of stomping, pillow-hitting, tantrum-throwing and other … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How (and Why) I Went From Christian to Atheist

One of the greatest challenges of my life has been the journey of discovery that led me to abandon the religion of my upbringing, and the core beliefs about myself and the world around me that went along with it. Although tremendously challenging, the journey has also been one of the most rewarding; which isn’t surprising since it’s when we step outside our comfort zone and encounter challenges that we truly grow.

I was raised in a conservative church-going family in middle-class Australia. Every weekend my parents would take our family along to our mildly-progressive local Christian church. I went to Sunday School every weekend where I learned stories from the bible, learned to close my eyes when I prayed, heard about Jesus, sang cutesy Christian songs, and generally ran amok as often as I could. I was an energetic little boy, and the thought of sitting still in Sunday … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

A Practical Guide to How Your Brain Works

Given that our brain is where the thoughts, feelings, ideas, beliefs and decisions that guide our whole life arise I think it’s helpful to have a rudimentary understanding of how it works so we can use it more effectively.

Your brain is the most complex system in the known universe. Over eighty billion massively interconnected neurons form the most complex parallel-processing biological computer imaginable, and it’s right there in your head controlling your every move. Nobody fully understands how it works, which isn’t at all surprising when you consider that we’re using our brain to try to understand itself. That’s like a computer trying to understanding itself. So I can hardly do it justice in a single article but here’s a rough guide to the features I think are most important.

Consciousness and The Mind

The mind is a function of our brain. When people talk about “the mind”, they … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Write Damn Good Fiction by James N. Frey

Advanced Techniques for Dramatic Storytelling

I first heard James N. Frey’s book How to Write a Damn Good Novel recommended by champion speaker Craig Valentine for its tips on storytelling. I want to learn better storytelling and since I couldn’t find that book at my local library I ended up grabbing this sequel on advanced storytelling techniques instead. I’m not particularly interested in writing fiction but much of the advice also applies to telling true stories to a written or spoken audience. Here are the key insights I gleaned:

Having skipped the first book, I don’t know really what I missed (you know, we don’t know what we don’t know), but I could still follow much of what he was saying. The rules are there to be broken, but first you want to know what the rules are so you know when you’re breaking them.

I was most interested to … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago

How to Become a Confident Man

I’ve been working like a man possessed for the past few months on a new project to help men build self-confidence. I know what it’s like to lack confidence as a man, and frankly it sucks because every other area of your life suffers. Sure, I learned plenty of coping mechanisms so that at times I may have appeared confident, but that wasn’t what was going on inside. Some days, it still isn’t. And since this has been one of my greatest challenges in life, I want to help other in guys facing it too.

Self-confidence is an awareness that you have the ability to rise to whatever challenge life throws at you. It’s also a sense of being at ease with yourself in any situation, and with who you are as a man. Confidence is the single most important asset that a man can possess, because it determines … Continue reading…

By Graham Stoney, ago